Why do I always lose the cool stuff?

    When was the last time you came across a photo to "find" that you had lost something that was in the photo? That happened to me, literally right now. Or, at least, a few moments before right now. 

    Some missing items are explainable, such as the bulky infinity scarf I was given for Christmas one year. It was awesome...but then I took everything off at a New York air port because you can't get away with anything there and lost it to the conveyer belt. 

    It just makes me wonder where our lost things go. Could I remember such details about any other thing I lost? I'm wondering if this was the same trip where I accidentally took home my friends favorite winter coat...from New York all the way to Texas. What can I say, my memories are annoying! 

    This is all I have to say for now.
 

SHARING ART - ART SHARING - CHER

"Do you believe in life after love?" -Cher
You know that moment when you're typing words and start to think they look weird? Well, they don't look weird when I include "Cher". So there.

Now, get ready for horrible photos of things I have created!

"Boy Scout Mountains" No idea if that's a real thing,

but I called this painting that because I was inspired by a tin of boy scout

popcorn with a mountain design on it.

"Boy Scout Mountains 2" This is a different version

that I really enjoyed painting mainly because the canvas was horizontal

and I had never painted on something this shape before...

even if I paint of rectangles all the time it was just a squattier one!

I was trying to talk my dad into getting business cards printed up by

drawing this for him. It didn't work! But I was inspired by something that had

really groovy 70s inspired illustrations on it. Maybe a magazine or

something, I don't remember. I have since then picked up learning the

guitar and quite enjoy finger picking and recording myself so that

I can send the songs to my friend in Massachusetts.

These were apples I photographed and then painted. We have an apple tree

in the back flower bed that gets attached by squirrels the minute they start to grow.

We'll never know if they even taste good! I wish they would

grow so many that the squirrels would get so full they

left them alone...along with the peaches!

This is a painting created on a broken heart. My ex boyfriend loved otters and

I was trying to win him back by sending this to him "stalker-mode" style. I was in a

very weird place. I just hope it didn't end up in the trash.

OH...and it didn't win him back THANK GOODNESS!

I was planning on doing a whole series of dogs from the place I worked at.

I lost interest after the second one/it was really hard to get pictures of the dogs being still and cute.

I wanted them to be psychedelic so it wasn't just another run of the mill

(bad joke when referring to dogs Emily, geeeez) dog portrait.

I enjoy sowing when I have a working sowing machine. I made this apron that ties

to the side instead of to the back...but I made it out of a dress someone gave me! I baked a lot when

I lived at my parents house and my only job was to hang out with dogs half days.

I don't bake as much or as creatively now, even though I could probably

do so just fine.

                                  

I painted this for a friend from band (I play the trumpet too!) who needed

wall art for his band office. I hope it still lives strong! I just loved drawing and

painting the trumpet. I knew it's parts so well that it was fun and easy.

Weird shots of my legs done up in henna. I was a paid henna artist at

a vendor's market in downtown Austin for a bit. I loved being able to interact

with the customers a lot easier, especially since I was working with a really

great friend that I had met at the market when I sold my pottery there.

Henna was fun because I could draw on people rather than on paper.

It took some time for me to work up to having strong and steady hands to

really give people nice pieces of art to take home with them and

wear for a few weeks.

After doing henna, I got really into mandalas and creating

them with the large collection of markers that I own. I sent this piece

to a girl I was sort of mentoring at church. But then I because a middle school

sponsor and I couldn't be her mentor anymore since she was in

middle school. It wasn't fair, but the changed the mentor

program anyway into something I didn't agree with.

But I lost, and I still try to send her notes occasionally.

This is the shell of my tiny house. The outside is actually not near completion

besides a few final touches to the roof, and putting a door in. I am looking forward

to working on the inside soon! My dad, brother, and myself are the main people

that have done work on the house, though I did invite my best friend to help

as well, and it was pretty funny how awful we could be at hammering nails.

This is a commissioned painting I did for a friend's niece. I was at a graduation

party for her cousin, and she came up to me in awe over the painting I did for her aunt and uncle (below)

and asked me if I could do a painting of her on her pony. This is the first animal and human portrait

I had ever done in acrylic. I hope she loves it for years to come!

This commissioned piece was done for my best friend's parents. I had visited this place a few times

and was happy to immortalize it in a paint...with a few adjustments. It's their families inherited land in Fayetteville, Texas.

A great place to watch the stars, walk the town streets, and hang out with great and hilarious friends.

It's even really fun to share my elbow grease and help clean up spider droppings...I'm serious! It's fun!

So I moved the water tower and added a windmill and spruced up the fence and mowed the lawn, all in this tryptic painting, and I didn't even break a sweat. Ha!

The following is a baby's head shaping helmet. A friend hired me to paint it so that

her kiddo could be more stylish as her head slowly got reshaped. The photos are a little milky

looking because I had covered the helmet in mod podge which looks pretty milky before it's dried.

I picked up embroidery really quickly a few months ago. I practiced a few stiches and then got

to work on creating this sunflower for a amazing friend's baby shower. It was really fun watching it

all come together and normally processes that take a long time make my anxiety just awful, but

this was actually relaxing! She lives in New York in a small house, so I wanted to make sure I was

making something that could easily find a place in her home.

My try at making a collage of cacti and succulents. Since then I think I have even added another plant.

Weird I can't remember, but I look forward to using the tan linen I recently purchased to

make even more designs!

I did this just the other night. At first I just started putting flowers all over the page and thought,

this looks to crazy! So, I almost started over and left this as a practice page....but look!

I forced myself to make it work, and it did!

Groovy dude. Another pen and ink drawing I did some other night. I finished watching The OA and that's when I realized that it was 1:30AM and time to go to bed. I was just so happy to be drawing again.

I think of my great friend whenever I see or draw sunflowers. The same one I did the sunflower embroidery for.

She once commented on the sunflowers that had popped up along the sides of the road and how much she enjoyed them

and it stuck with me as important. Though I love drawing flowers more geometrically sometimes, it's

really nice to draw organically as well.

RECONCILING...A SLOW TRAIN HEADED SOMEWHERE IMPORTANT

IF LEAVES CAN CHANGE...

      When we enter a space of love, shouldn't it be unconditional? In the past I have disliked it when someone laughed with me and said, "Oh Emily, I just love you!" I disliked it because so many times people have said this but not actually done anything about it; They were not a better friend, or maybe not even a friend at all. Shouldn't that kind of love be good enough though? There are people that love you to the moon and back and are always there for you, and there are people that love you because you are who you are but are just passers by. Maybe the goal should be to love without rules; Just because you say that you love someone, it doesn't mean you have to buy them a birthday card. Perhaps I should have just been happy to be loved by a stranger. Perhaps now, just now as I type this, I have gone back and changed "I hate it when..." to "In the past I have disliked it when..." because I finally accept that simple love.

      This Sunday we again gathered in the nursery to hit the next point in our Welcoming Tool Kit. This link will take you to what we are using to guide us through the process: http://welcomingresources.org/welcomingtoolkit.pdf  We looked on to page 14 which introduces us to the next step of reconciling the church. The topic? One-on-one conversations with people we'd like to reach our "feelers" out to so that we can build relationships and get to know other within the church whilst informing them of the reconciliation process we hope to accomplish. We have decided to start with people we know pretty well, and also know haven't showed any signs of being against the LGBTQ community.
      My notes over this sections are as follows:

• A reminder of rule 1: we are not trying to force our beliefs on others. From that follows another rule to this tool kit working well is 2: that we make our one-on-one time with others enjoyable. This should not be seen as a chore, and it should favor the participants in a manner that is something they like to do. The goal is not to make this a weekly/monthly MEETING and instead make it a coming together where you can listen and ask questions about your partner and you both feel comfortable. This process is perfect for discovering what is important to them, and finding hidden talents and gifts that they can bring to the table. 
• As participation grows, this does not mean we must clump ourselves together. We must see the group as a whole, as small groups within so that we refrain from this well-loved notion that churches need to have congregational meetings in order to get anything accomplished (and there's never just one). Then you can encourage those that embrace what our group is trying to accomplish to start their own one-on-ones.
• This is not a time to argue what is wrong and right if you do come upon someone who believes the opposite of you. Listen and ask questions.

What should a one-on-one visit look like? I'm quite nervous about breaking off on my own, so luckily my sister-in-law is going to pair up with me for my first one. 

• Though the handbook says that this meeting shouldn't go over 45 minutes, our group thought it best not to set a time on it. If you just can't stop talking about a certain topic, let it flow. Why cut someone off if it's going well? 
• This is basically a recruitment process. You're trying to get to know this persons history so that you can note their experiences and find their strengths so that you know what hidden abilities that have that can help out this cause. Since I can't outline it any better myself, the following hollow-circle bullets are straight from the handbook:

• Have a clear introduction and ending: the middle is improvisation that is particular to the person with whom you are talking.
• Talk more deeply about a few things instead of covering 20 topics.
• Ask “why?” much more often than “what?”
• Ask the person to tell stories and personal history, talk about important incidents, time periods, or mentors—not just recite facts and dates.
• Offer back conversation and dialogue: it’s not just for the purpose of the other person answering your questions.
• Close by asking the person who else they think you should be visiting with, and what questions they have for you.

These meetings aren't:

• This time you set aside for this person, is also being set aside for the cause you're fighting for. Do not use it lightly by talking about small annoyances in your day. This isn't an excuse to drink a beer with a friend, it's an opportunity for this person to open up to you about what they can bring to the table. 
• And if you have to feign interest in other peoples lives, it's probably best you pick people you know you have something in common with, or pair up with someone.

Though this process should not be cookie-cutter, it should be organized. I was a willing participant with "nothing else to do on a Sunday Morning but sleep in". I have already set aside that hour of Sunday School for gathering with my peers over this topic of reconciliation, so I need to start organizing the steps.

• Step 1: Meet in our initial small group. 
• Step 2: Blog about what we talked about in small group (I'm doing this in order to better understand what we talked about that day because I easily forget things if I do not go over them time and time again).
• Step 3: A new step! Make a list of people I know I can talk to about our cause. 
• Step 4: Carve out some time in my day to call and set up meetings
• Step 5: Follow through with these meetings, and make sure they are in a comfortable environment to the both of you. 

On page 17 is a page we can use for organize reflection on the people we choose to meet with.

May our hearts guide our feet to the path of unconditional love and acceptance of those of us who are living life in a way of truth. Peace to you my friends!

RECONCILIATION...A BIG WORD FOR BIG ACTIONS

Some forest in Belgium I didn't personally get to see in bloom. Pretty sure it was snowing both of the times I went.

Welcome All

      Today in group, we started the process of "reconciling" our church. That word basically means to make it known that our/any church is fully accepting of your life no matter your sexual orientation or race...and the unnatural color of your hair! My neighbor across the street has not reconciled with MY hair.

     If you're interested in this process for your church, or just want to follow along with our process, this is the link: http://www.welcomingresources.org/welcomingtoolkit.pdf - We will also be reading from the book "Doing Justice" by Dennis A. Jacobsen. Now! Let it be known...I made C's in English Language Arts up through college so don't judge my writing skills. When I publish my own book, no one will care how I write but the snobby people. Don't be one of them today! These notes I've taken are based off of the worksheet from page 12.

      When starting off this process we have to keep in mind that not everyone in our congregation thinks like us. Some people leave just because a pastor leaves, and some stick around to make sure the new/remaining pastor does a good job, but some also stick around because it's all they know. It takes a lot of hard work to become a pastor (aka learning latin)...and that's why I'm not called to be one, but if I can doing something, it's make notes! (Also, I learned to type with 2 spaces following the period.  So I find it hard to remember if I've only left one or two spaces. It might get crazy!) We also have to keep in mind that this is not an overnight process. We can't just kick out the negative nancies when they've been with the church for such a long time. We can't just tell them what to think, when they've thought one way for so long...especially if they're really big donors to the church (right? I don't know...I recently watched an episode of The Fosters where the board of this private school had to expel a student who's parents were huge donors. So after they stopped getting everything handed to their child, they stopped donating, and programs were cut. Sometimes things happen...but they have to in order to keep our hearts still).

      Now, this workbook asks us to meditate and be silent...but the beautiful thing about how we're doing it is...it's in the nursery and the mamas get to bring their little ones, instilling the fact that the space we're creating is safe, all-age appropriate, and all-kinds accepting.  Then after meditation we talk about, NOT what are we going to do about these haters? NOT we should make signs and post them around the church and outside about how we love and accept everyone! Nothing like that, but about Grace.

      Grace to us is, a lot more than just Jesus dying for our sins on the cross - which no one said, by the way. (And I've got things to say about that word "sin" because it's as exciting as that word "tolerate"...actually, it's way more exciting than tolerate, but I cringe all the same.) My notes read: "Gentle. Kind. Nurturing. Lenient. Patient. Open-minded. Accepting. Motivation to act. The balance point to let something be or not. A process. Taking in all sides. Calm and non-argumentative. Peace."

      Next we reflected upon scripture, again my notes and further reflection:

•  From Luke 10:29-37, what stuck out the most was WHO ARE MY NEIGHBORS? To me, my neighbors are the strangers I've never met that live around me as well as the neighbors that I've known for years. The thing about neighbors is, they're not necessarily friends, they don't share their faith with me, and I might look like a witch to some of them just because I like to color my hair purple...or blue...or pink. And just like we don't get to choose our blood relative-family, we don't get to choose our neighbors. 
• John 4:4-26, NEVER WILL YOU THIRST AGAIN! Here I think about all of those pining for acceptance from those that think status in looks and wealth is what really matters. This also refers to those that look like "good christians" and believe they're "wealthy" in the holy spirit because of how they acknowledge others sins (yucky word!) because they think it's their duty. The woman at the well is confronted by Jesus, not forcing her to acknowledge her faults, but to make sure she knows that he respects her and considers her an equal. So when you make friends that live with that mantra, you'll never thirst for acceptance, because you know in your heart that they love you for who you are. NOT who you aren't.
• Matthew 22:35-40, LOVE GOD, LOVE OTHERS AS YOURSELF. It's easy to love those like me. It's easy to show love to those not like me too. It's just not so easy to love those that condemn those like me or others not like me. Those people are really not like me. This is a challenge, but I am going to work on it. So, maybe I'll refriend a pastor on facebook that let his mother put down another one of God's children, because he's a gay male who happens to be a spokesperson for Covergirl. Maybe. And then he'll read these posts...maybe. But, it doesn't mean he'll care.
• Matthew 26:51-52, LIVE BY FIGHTING/DIE BY FIGHTING. If you live your life one way and only one way, you'll die only to be known by that one defining factor. So, if you're always knocking down others because of what they believe in (whether you agree or not), they'll just see you as knocking everything, and say that oh so cute saying, "if I'm supposed to accept you, then shouldn't you accept me?" Which is really saying...oh, you want me to ignore the fact that you are an atheist while I pray and cry to God and my savior Jesus on the hour? Yeah, well...it turns out that's how you get the puzzle pieces to fit together, by doing what you're really supposed to do, and not by doing what you think you're supposed to do.
• Luke 23:34, FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO. Grace being forgiveness, y'all. Maybe when Jesus was crying out to God, he was also crying out to his followers that were in the crowd. The soldiers were following orders of someone who felt threatened by Jesus. Just like sidekicks to bullies do what they're told so that they don't become the bullied. Though goodness outnumbers the bad in this world, the fact is that the bad hurts and can blind us from the good, making it the underdog. When you instill a bully intolerant system, they get sent right back to the pin (because they're in a dog pin?).

Next we are called to recognize what being gracefully engaged really means. Though it's easy to get on Facebook and have a spiritual debate, to try and automatically force what you think is right onto other peoples conscience, to unfriend and unfollow or stop talking to people just because they voted for someone you didn't vote for, to leave your church because it hasn't decided to reconcile yet (because maybe no one knows that they have they power to download this handbook)...being gracefully engaged is really about being compassionate when it comes to living in your diverse community, making sure you try to value their difference in beliefs by listening more than speaking and doing something God is really good at: meeting us/them where we/they are. I mean, I assume God is really good at this since I haven't been struck down by a lightening bolt after all of the questioning and doubting I've done in my 26years and 9/12months.

Again, these are just my notes.

A closing prayer of sorts: Help us to take what we've discussed today into our week. Let us think in our quiet space and also share our thoughts with friends and family. Invite others into our community where none are turned away. -Let it be so.

It's something I've never done before...

I wanted to write a drawn out post about these two awesome people I worked with at camp, Fred in 2009 and Mycah in 2013.  I think the best part is that they both loved me to pieces each separate year.  I do my best at camp to make friends with everyone and then the rude people end up weeding themselves out, but those that show their appreciation for me in return...OH IT'S JUST SO GREAT!

I'm excited, and this is one of two (R+P) weddings that I'm genuinely excited about! I know both of these great humans and can't wait to celebrate!  Best of all, the wedding is at camp!  I can't get away from that place, thank God.

In the art of Thanksgiving...I'm thankful for these two and cannot wait to help them to celebrate.  Their kind of love is the kind I hope to someday share with someone.

Pots and Roberts

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      Apparently one should sit up straight and with their feet flat on the floor to achieve a healthy posture and avoid stressing the muscles in our necks and angering our hips... Alas, I sit "Indian Style".  The other day I actually used the saying, "Crisscross-applesauce", which only makes sense on account that is indeed what people are saying these days and I fear (over-dramatization) no child will understand such a pose as "Indian Style."  

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  Have you ever experienced only knowing someone through technology?  I am having a fit over Tanya.  She once ignored an email I sent and so I was annoyed, and today she called me asking me to call her back yet having left her place of work.  How space cadet can you be to not say when I may call you back, especially if you plan on leaving 20 minutes after making the call.  Tanya!  I'm not impressed.  Let me reiterate that she ignored a reply to the only email she ever sent to me asking me for important documentation. Face palm.

      Some days I'm not impressed with myself, but that's mainly when people ask me if I can make huge ass flower pots...wait, I'm totally over that.  Making a huge ass flower pot has nothing on being able to make a ton of tiny flower pots (that's a lie because it obviously means that you're a very strong person if you can throw over 4 lbs of clay).  I'm so relaxed with myself these days, it's beautiful.  I don't ever disappoint myself, I don't ever freak out over wasted material (unless it's bubble wrap), and I don't like not having enough money to build my tiny house faster...wait...

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Hold on...That sounds a lot like me not being cool with myself! 

And now, a list of cons of working for yourself and being new at it.

1. I have no idea how to balance income with my spending.

2. I don't get paid by the hour and I work almost every day of the week.

3. If I don't feel like it, it doesn't get done.

4. It's hard to keep money in the bank since it's hard to have a business without spending money.

5. With that money not in the bank it makes it hard to make dreams come true in a dreamy amount of time.

6. Mom wants money for my firing of pots apparently...she doesn't understand that she can have free pot anytime all the time...as long as I have clay.  I fear she resents me being born. (hahaha!)

7. I feel lazy since I sit on my butt all day because I have no real dedication to exercising.

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I cannot stand the idea of cats getting hurt or in fights.  I say that because I threw myself from this chair unaware of what caused my cat to howl the most disgusted howl a cat could make and it ended up being over a stray that was sitting on the front porch. Dumb! I got so flustered! Growing up having so many cats, we've probably had over twenty cats by now, and even witnessing them being born, I must say that a cat's attitude is fine by me BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL DIFFERENT.  Never again will I just go along with a cat hater's opinion or positively reinforce their ideas...even if I have to lie!  A cat's attitude though is a set up for having another part of me that has to work on not thinking about things too much when a cat dies or goes missing because I can't let sadness rule me. + I saw them when they were born and it was beautiful, but it's a shame that they're gone. + I tried to save your life but no one else did and now you're gone-gone. + You fought with...oh my gosh, I'll stop.  This is awful how things come swarming back into my brain yet I must essentially ignore even the possibility of being sad. They're smart but then they're not smart, ya know?!

On a semi-lighter note...

The names of most of our cats over time: Mischief, Midnight, Matilda, Max, Spunky, Midnight [again], Sadie, Molly, Peaches, Sweet Pea, Boots, Bite Me, Buster, Whiskers, Boo, April, Momma Kitty, Pretty Kitty, Thomas J, Tom, Dusty, Puff, Wayne, Sylvester

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I'm so sleepy! Just waiting 30ish more minutes to turn up the kiln so that I can have a giant pot to look at.  Oh my goodness I'm totally pumped, yet also not actually totally pumped since anything could happen and I don't want to get my hopes up.  As I was walking it to the kiln I had a vision of it breaking and me firing broken pieces so that I could later glue it together.  Or maybe I would have a gold smith or whatever piece them together with gold.

Con about not living where you work...feeling like a bum when you take a nap on your parents couch and not being able to be ready for bed right when the kiln is set to high. Ok, now it's actually a 30 minute wait...I'll kill it with Netflix.





I feel like you're putting a wall up...