Kerrville, here I come!

I'm such a nervous nelly when it comes to traveling!  It annoys me, but I've heard that bananas help...and I guess they're right.  I need to head out soon so I can stock up on gas and get an alarm clock.  My mind is all fuzzy because I have no idea what to expect from this summer BESIDES AWESOMENESS!  As of now I am scarfing down a PB&J and a hot dog.  Whoopee.  I just feel like sighing and saying "AHHHHH!" every other second.  So, I ate a banana a bit ago and it really does seem to take a bit of the edge off (or maybe it's the blogging that's calming me down).  I didn't get a good send off from anyone but my coworker Danielle.  She met me for lunch and brought her dog, Stan.  Reality started to set in when I hugged Stan goodbye.  Yes, I gave Danielle a hug too!  Hugging my cat goodbye was not the same because she got me all hairy and thought I was going to cut her nails or something so she was all squirmy. 

 

Cheers to a wonderful summer!  May I find happiness and balance in all that I do.

After a phone call:

I don't make art often, but when I do, I'm pretty proud of it.  I don't think this is even the finished painting though.  Oh well!

Acceptance and understanding.  Sometimes it's hard and sometimes it's surprisingly easy.  What I've concluded (though I'm sure there are many revisions to be made throughout the rest of my life) is:  We understand and/or believe what makes us feel comfortable.  I don't expect anyone to change so I expect the same respect.  I will not debate my faith because it is original to me and it is why I am the person I am today.  If I did not live my life the way I do, then I wouldn't have the same qualities that some admire, and vice versa.  I will listen to what anyone has to say (though when I'm not all that interested I must admit my ADD kicks in) and if I agree, I'll say so.  If I have a better explanation, I will hopefully have the opportunity to give my opinion.  If someone attacks me personally, they're probably wrong and just assuming things.  I will keep an open mind to the best of my abilities.  Some days I don't pray, and others I talk to a high power all day long.  Some days I have more than one God, while others I just have one, and then fewer days it's just me.  I am an unorthodox believer and I'm sure there are plenty more out there just like me.  I hope to become more true to myself whether it's sitting in church not reciting the things I don't understand or just journaling my thoughts like I am doing now.  I pray I am not blinded by something.  May my head be clear, my heart be open, and my brain be in sync.  Prayer is just another way of talking to yourself with a deeper meaning OR a way to connect yourself to the things you don't understand.  Where you go in thought, is where you go.  When I add the word prayer into my thoughts it just seems to sink in deeper.  BUT HEY!  That's just me. 

If you see me with my head in the tub, I'm washing my hair not throwing up.

I don't know how great this picture is, but it was a last millisecond shot after (s)he jumped off of my hand.  I could swear it was paying me back kindly for saving it from the rain barrel by letting me take a picture of it (that picture isn't shown). 

 

My cucumbers are growing like crazy.  I haven't looked for actual cucumbers, which I probably should soon, but the plants are all stretched out making those other plants say, "Hey!  You're in my bubble!"  I doubt they really say that though.  I planted a cucumber, a dill plant, and some Zinnia's in a little corner of the onion patch and I'm beginning to think that was a mistake.  The Zinnia's get some nice shade though, haha!  Other than that, damn it's hot!  Just when I was enjoying gardening it had to get all sunny and smoldering.  Spiders are everywhere, I found a scorpion all up in my face (not really), I am still being attacked by ants, rolly pollies go to GP's to die, and mosquito's are a bitch.  Just sayin'.

 

Can I tell y'all a secret?  Probably not, but I'm going to anyways.  Maybe I've already said this before...but I'm not one who enjoys paying for parking.  The best way to get out of paying for parking, or at least paying for the whole 5 hours or whatever, is to flash all the cash and change at them that you "have".  I say "have" because this is a scam.  That's right, a scam.  This is how it works:  You know you're going into a parking garage, so before you leave to pay move all your big spankin' bills outta sight (for me this is easy because I hardly ever carry cash, therefore that's another good way to get out of paying for parking - flash a credit card) and if you know how much it's gonna cost, either man up and pay it all or Emily-it-up and pull out $1.29 for a $2-3 fee and have it in a spot that makes it look like you're digging around for all you got.  This is terrible...I understand.  But, come on!  I have a legit excuse that my Granny is in the hospital and I just got back from visiting her.  This isn't like my only male coworker that was given a ticket for speeding after using the excuse that his grandma was in the hospital, because I guarantee that the officer heard that fifty times that very day. 

 

If you must know, my cousin, Claire, said what I used for the title.  It was such an amazing thing that I've been waiting since March 19th to use it.  Impressive, I know. 

I think running helps...

Me mum and dad would always tell me to go run around the house when they just couldn't handle my loopiness.  I never ran around the house though.  Maybe once.  The thing is, I've been really giddy and hyper lately and after finding everything 10X more funny than it should be I decided to knock some of the energy off with a run.  It was about 8:30 when I decided to do this so it couldn't be a long jog, therefore, I just went up the road and back.  I started off with a sprint, which was pretty silly.  I also ran right after I ate a bowl of spaghetti and drank a cup of water.  Those are two things that will put a very large stitch in your side, aka a big ass cramp.  On my way back to the house I had a feeling of "dance" run through me.  This meaning, "I wish I was surrounded by a crowd of people to break out into a dance with."  Honestly, I'd rather be alone when I dance like I think I can dance.  This new hair makes me feel like a dancer.  I probably smell like a dancer but, I'm sure dancers just look like they're glazed in sugar and not in sweat by tricking us with their movements.  Tricky little bitches.  Sorry.  Sometimes I just want to throw those ones in there for fun. 

Rule # 37- Don't be uptight about cussing.

No, I don't have a rule book.  It just looks like a "# 37".  Am I right, or am I right?

So yeah!  Let's recap:  I ran up the road and back, I got a stitch in my side (which by the way I keep spelling stitch "stich" which is soooo wrong), I had the urge to bust out in dance moves I made up, and then I finished watching "The Mindy Project" on Fox and I think it helped a lot.  I'm pretty sure I have enough energy left in me to run a 5k.  I wish I had a energy monitor, like a gas gage, that way I would know if I was about to go crazy. 

How am I doing?  Well, I think that minuscule amount of energy that I ran off...is back.  Damn.  I don't work well under hyper pressure.  I turn into a crazy...nope, not crazy...just awkward and either hated or loved. 

Dern it!  I got bit by something and it itches terribly. 

I call this HYPERBLOGGING.  In my head it sounds like hyperbole.  Same thing...an exaggerated statement to make a point versus my exaggerated energy level making it's point.

And, WHA-BAM it came from...nowhere?

I guess the best thing that could happen is that I was thinking of someone and then they were wiped out by someone else.  (Envision it as if someone is turned around, not facing me, just standing there when all of the sudden someone comes running from the corner of sight and just knocks the person off of their feet and out of the picture.) It's like I had been shook awake.  The haze that was over my entire body in wonder has been shown another path, and in my state I am accepting.  It's the whole thing on how good things come when you least expect them.  I don't want to jump the gun, so I'm just gonna set this fragile box of emotions in the middle of my soul.  I was gonna say room, but I want it to be attached to me.  Plus, I don't want to jinx myself.  Therefore, I choose to zip up my typing fingers on the matter for now.  I would hate to say too much and UGHHHHH!  Work can be so frustrating.  I get exclamation texts (ya know, where someone types a peeved off text using these >!<) for things that aren't my fault and for things I thought through and chose not to do for my sake and because I knew someone could do it just fine in the morning. 

So what the heck makes me feel good in all of this...  People thinking I'm worth their attention *big grin!* and knowing I wasn't just leaving dogs in crates for no good reason.  Haha!  Though I must admit that I forget to sign the med. cards a lot...I go looking for a pen and end up doing something else.  Whoops. 

Roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo.

      I met a rose in college that smelt amazing.  It was from off one of the bushes outside of my home of a fine arts building.  I've never met a store bought rose that smelt so fine.  I haven't smelt the new ones that live at my house these days, but I do enjoy pruning them if that has anything to do with the stench of it's beauty.  I need to go and water my plants ASAP before I forget again. 

      Tomorrow evening I'm going to Seguin to visit Marta and Karina.  They are having a "Finals are Over" party.  I really enjoy hanging out with them.  I met Marta my first year working at camp.  We ended up becoming really great friends from it all and she's the only one I've stuck to making sure I visit.  I do see Margaret, and now Keisha and Kim, from time to time too but that's more recent.  I would visit with Ally occasionally right after camp but even after attending her house warming party I new we were growing more and more apart.  But this is a blog about what makes me feel good! 

      I had a crepe for breakfast, and it was yummy.  I should probably eat something else on top of that so that I am held over until lunch.  We are eating lunch at Granny's since she had knee surgery and isn't comfortable sitting around for constant periods of time.  Before this I am planning on going for a walk with my aunt, Malinda.  I enjoy spending time with her.  I feel strongly connected to her, so I'm trying to pick up the ways we are similar.  I admire her very much.  There are many reasons I aspire to be like her when I have a family.  Though, I guess I don't need to have a family in order to be a bad ass.  Haha!

      One day it would be great to have the whole family in one place.  I love how close I am to my peoples, I just wish they were closer in distance.  BUT WHO WOULD WE VISIT?!  Maybe that's just it, I wish we could visit each other more often.

Unorthodox

      Look.  I'm a person that is kooky and loopy.  I sing a lot and even wish that I had my own tour to go on.  The love within me that's just bursting at the seams can and will reach every person that I meet.  I dance in my kitchen, occasionally "ice skating" around in my socks.  My dreams are big but my confidence can be small a lot of the time.  Ask me my opinion and I'll probably give you five.  I don't choose favorites and though I tend to choose least favorites the playing field evens out over time.  When I crave something I eat it, that is if it's in the house.  I don't think I've ever gone out of my way for a craving, and having to bake it doesn't count, that's just part of my life.  BAKING!!!  I like to keep my carbon footprint to a daily minimum.  I stopped going to the gym because I got a job that requires extra driving and instead I started jogging.  I still have my gym membership because I like to swim, though I don't go and swim.  I dress myself so that I am comfortable and confident in myself.  I like to keep my hair lookin' good.  Today it required a headband that I am not all that happy with...I just chose it over taking a shower because I knew that I would come home smelling of dog so I might as well keep the smell of lawn-mowin' on me.  I'm not rich in money, only in talents.  I'm an unorthodox Christian who thinks it's dumb to hate on anyone unless they're jumping to conclusions or being mean and unfair.  Some days I just want a peanut butter sandwich with honey...or jelly, duh.  I love watching true life kind of shows...yeah, the MTV show, but also shows on Ke$ha, Justin Beiber, and one I haven't seen is the one on Katy Perry.  When I find moments to laugh at myself or I come up with something funny in my head I like to share it with people (facebook status!!!).  I really like sending people snail mail and lately I've been make my own stationary!  I have never done a tobacco product and I don't plan on it, even if I told my mom as a kid, "I used to smoke when I was old."  I have also never done an illegal drug...I dislike how they turn people into being dependent upon something that hurts them and pulls them away from the clear open skies.  Though I've gotten drunk before, I always remember.  Haha! I went to a university and wish I would've just went to community college.  I live with my parents...and I think they're smothering my fire.  When my brother left us for the Marines, it was the scariest thing I've ever gone through...and that's just speaking for myself.  I feel comfy cozy when my room is a mess...but I like to clean.  Gardening and yard work are very rewarding tasks.  I love being around people but I just want to stay home (this is the concept of being a social butterfly in a hermit crab's body) and because of this I tend to have to push myself out the door and away from sorry excuses...even if I really am tired.  When other people are experiencing pain, heartache, or suffering, I tend to feed off of it and get sad.  I am striving to become someone people can lean on.  I hope I have become a better listener, as good as I am running my mouth.  Blah blah blah...
      What I'm saying all of this for is because I reach my hand out to someone and they don't reach back.  It happens so often and it makes me question my awesomeness that so many people say I have.  I don't know when it came about, but at some point I started to question everyone's sincerity.  I feel like when I walk away the words they say about me are different than the ones they shared with me to my face.  I'm probably just paranoid, and it's definitely not a problem with my closest friends.  It's like I need to be reaffirmed.  I know I'm good enough, so why don't they know?  Why are they so reserved?  Grrrrr.  I'm just frustrated, I guess.  I don't always even know what I'm saying, so to clarify it for myself:  This is about one person who was there and since I made a certain choice they faded away though I tried my best to not let go.  I don't know if there is any potential because I don't know the other side of the story.  I wish we could all just speak our minds to each other from the truth of our hearts instead of just how we feel at the moment.  I tried that though, with a few people, and it just made those days slumpy and my confidence mashed potatoes instead of baked. 
      Getting my brain going makes me feel good.  I just wish I had all the answers.  Doesn't everybody?!  I want to write out a promise for myself and my future acquaintances:  I promise to speak my mind and tell the truth.  I promise to never hurt you or break your heart and/or trust.  ....Simple and right, I'd say. 
      CONTEMPLATE THIS:  It's a link to one of the Justin Timberlake songs that's been playing on the radio lately.  I think he sounds whiny and that's why I was at first questioning if it was really his song.  This video is not my favorite...haha!

Wow and Yum

Here is a lovely photo of the Nasturtium I had talked about planting a while back.  I was surprised to see this beautiful bloom pop up on it!  Perhaps I had low hopes that they wouldn't bloom, but I see plenty of buds waiting to blossom!  The Zinnia's are still looking lame, but the ones out in the garden are growing a lot faster than the ones in mostly shade.  That explains a lot I'm sure.  Baby nephew Caleb helped me water the sprouts today!  He was quite heavy having to carry back and forth along with the watering can.  Is it still a can if it's plastic?

 Here's a bright and colorful shot of it's face straight on.  Soooo lovely!  My aunt had the same experience as me, that they do terribly in pots, but when planted in the ground they grow very well.  Just a little tip to share!  I should probably water them soon. 

Mmmmm, handmade from scratch!  Cinnamon rolls with a cream cheese frosting.  I haven't bitten into them yet, but I just might sacrifice dinner for the whole batch!  Who says you can't have dessert and then the main course?  It's just a super sweet appetizer, right?  Mr. Caleb is getting squirmy and digging his sweet little fingernails into my arm over the interest in my water...so I shall give him another interest now.  What?  Babies don't enjoy blogging as much as I do?  Lame.