Knowing, Understanding, Accepting

 

Knowing, understanding, and accepting all make me feel good.  I have been very in and out of depression since the break up of a 3 1/2 year relationship.  I am beginning to understand why a person even in an abusive relationship (which mine was not) would just keep going back...it's all you know!  I moved my bed to the center of my room, sort of, and I was at a point where I just wish everything was back to the way it was just so that I could feel "comfortable".  However, being in an unhealthy relationship wasn't comfortable.

Knowing your partner's and your own personal faults...
Understanding why you two do not work well together...
Accepting all of the above and the fact that if one person is willing to do the work and the other is not, things are just going to stay the same.

Knowing the relationship is over...
Understanding that you will get through this and you'll be okay...
Accepting that you need this pain in your life or else you would have been stuck in a rut of life.

I want to believe that you should exhaust all outlets of help before getting a divorce...but what about in a good ol' boyfriend/girlfriend relationship?  How is that any different?  I wanted to try one more time, but the fact that he never really tried even the second go around meant we were probably going to be in an ongoing problem. This one person did not want to fix any problems he just walked away from them and quit.  It's sad and it makes me mad.  Alas, it's done and I'm finally OK with it.

Who knows...I might be in a cycle of depression still, but I hope it's done.  I hate the anxiety it gave me and I hated how much I cried.  It wasn't healthy for me and though they were very supportive of me, my parents were getting tired of me talking and sobbing (I'm sure).

I believe everyone should journal!  That's where I find myself to be the truest to myself.  I saw our relationship failing since the beginning of the year, and though I was willing to give him another chance (though he was not willing the same for me) my journal definitely called it before I allowed myself to.  Here's one for the journal, huzzah!

Life is about taking and giving chances, you just need to be strong enough to mean what you say and work for what you believe in then everything will be worth it!  If you're strong and those around you are weak...LIFT THEM UP!