Cutting Bait: A Lesson On Forgiveness

 

 

Nasturtium.  That's the flower (unless these end up actually being the cucumbers I planted!!!) I planted around the garden and in the front flowerbed.  Hmmm... that kind of throws a loop in things if that ends up being the case huh?  That leaf looks nothing like the leaf on the picture.  What's a little cucumber EVERYWHERE?!!!

 

I love garden work nevertheless.  I woke up, had a bit for breakfast, then went on my 15 minute run ending with a walk back to the house, and then I decided to plant some of the things that I had started from seeds.  I mean, I probably should have labeled everything but that really screws with any possibility for an element of surprise RIGHT?

 

Never have I seen mustard grow (though now I am seeing it grow at the front of my church in small planters placed on the steps in front of the alter) so I thought I would watch my faith grow along with other plants, ones that will live based on how I tend to them, not how someone at the church tends to them.  Wish me luck that the right plant grows and that they don't die on my account!

 

Gardening makes me feel good, but what I've found to be really amazing is that this idea of forgiveness has got me feeling better and better each day.  I do still revert at times and say things like, "I'm still mad." and "I wish I knew why he is treating me like this." etc. but that's not forgiveness, now is it?  Forgiveness, it turns out, is the hardest yet easiest thing to do.

 

Forgiveness is hard because the human in us wants to be angry and wants to hold a grudge.  We tend to want revenge is these situations and we wish we had ways to connect with these people that turn us upside down to find answers and to find closure for ourselves.  We think, if I can just get this from them then I can forgive them.  However, forgiveness is easy because all we need are the words "I forgive you," heart and determination.  We don't need answers, though we think we do. 

 

In my situation I asked for something, I couldn't get what I wanted, then I exploded and people started calling me crazy.  I turned against myself, in a way, because I wanted to just be mature and end things grudge free but as soon as I heard that I couldn't get what I thought I needed I couldn't control myself.  He had told me to just write him a letter so I started (it was full of negative feelings) so then I re-started (and that one was full of positive feelings) but now I'm second guessing myself and thinking maybe all that letter needs to be is those three words. 

 

After those three words are put down on paper and sent off to juggle around the post-office, he might ask WHY? and he might say nothing.  He might be expecting something more but he also might forget about it even coming.  Some might think that I expect the same words in return, but I don't because I've honestly learned to expect the worst from him as negative as that is.

 

So what is this title "Cutting Bait"?  My aunt used it in an email she sent to me so I decided I'd give it a go.  I'm going to sever the ties that bind us so that I can forgive and be grudge free and MOVE THE HECK ON.  I don't want to think of him in a negative light, but I still need to remember why we aren't meant to be.  Forgiveness wont happen in one day, but it will complete itself a little at a time.  I look forward to the days I can completely focus on what's ahead of me instead of behind me!

 

Below is a song that is played on the Christian radio station.  It speaks truth AND THAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD.  Below the link are the words.  (Sometimes when jammin' along in the car, these songs make me cry...)

 

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those that don’t deserve
It’s the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have just to say the word…
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
It flies in the face of all your pride
It moves away the mad inside
It’s always anger’s own worst enemy
Even when the jury and the judge
Say you gotta right to hold a grudge
It’s the whisper in your ear saying ‘Set It Free’
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness
It’ll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it’s power can do
So, let it go and be amazed
By what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness
I want to finally set it free
So show me how to see what Your mercy sees
Help me now to give what You gave to me
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

CLICK HERE to listen to another song that I hope to live by.