Ok, but what's really going on?

      Recently I've decided that whenever I start to feel mad about "Tod" I dig deeper into myself to find the real solution.  Tod wouldn't give a rats ass to be my friend so why would I get upset over losing his friendship?  This is just one example, and it works like this:  I don't care that I'm not friends with Will or Jeremy, so why do I care that I'm not friends with Tod?  Tod was a follower, anything they started to say or do he started to say or do.  He was becoming more like them every semester.  Why would I want a friend like him anyways?  I have concluded that, I wouldn't. 

      In return I have decided to take all of my negative energy and force it into another direction, the direction of spending time with my true friends.  Those friends are the ones that make me feel special and loved.  I don't remember the last time those guys ever made me feel special and loved. 

      Over all, the one thing I regret is being truthful to myself.  If I would've listened to my heart and the sadness of it I would've never gone back after the first time I broke up with Tod.  I always tried to stick up for myself by saying, "If I didn't want you then I wouldn't keep you around," solely based off of my past relationships.  That wasn't true at all though.  The guy in high school made me feel bipolar towards him, where I cried in the car ride home every night praying to God for an answer.  I never listened for an answer because in the end I was just fed up with his ability to dump me and then come to my front door and pretend nothing happened.

      My goal is to be more careful.  I want to hear everything my heart has to say.  I also want to respect the feelings of the future guy/s (that is if I end up dating a few people before I find my life partner) since in the past I have been quick to lose interest and basically cut the cord.  I have hated how Tod has cut the cord on me, so why would I want to make someone feel like I have felt?  I wouldn't!  I should strive to live completely on the words, "Treat others as you would like to be treated."

      I pride myself in having awesome friends.  Friends that I can intermingle from different groups of life's experiences (church, work, camp, school) and get a long and have a great time.  Just the other night I invited a friend I met through Crackerdog to a Karaoke night with some camp folks.  We had a blast just being goofy as heck.

      I am really excited for camp this summer.  I am most ready for all the love that will be shared.  2009 was the best summer of my life so I hope to one-up it with another round of Arts and Crafts Hero power.